A gentle transition during divorce
Unless parents cooperate, children must make adjustments as they move from one parent, one family to another parent and family.
This is easy for some children.
For others, it is a difficult time.
These migrations are also difficult for parents.
Every migration causes a sense of loss.
When the children left Dad’s home and returned to Mom’s, they already began to miss their father.
He even misses his dad, and misses something his father will do when they are away.
He might go to the movies, watch some special TV shows, or buy something they particularly like.
Dad will be distressed at first about losing his child.
Even though Dad may feel relieved by not having to look after the children, he still misses the time spent with the children.
When children live with their mothers, fathers also feel that they used to be part of their lives.
Children often experience emotional changes before they are ready for adjustment: anger, attachment, or alienation of adults, which can sometimes last for hours or even a whole day.
Parents can make relocation easier.
Standard daily rules are helpful.
How about asking the other parent to discuss family and daily life?
Etiquette also helps.
Tony and Xin Xiji (parents who live with their children every two weeks) had their own tricks with the children the night before they left.
Tony likes to stay at home with the kids, make a spaghetti that kids love, and watch their favorite Friday night TV shows together.
Xin Xiji often took them out for dinner and then watched a movie.
On Saturday morning, a parent’s meeting drove them to another parent’s home.
Because Tony and Cincinnati are in a partnership, they will have lunch together.
In this way, the children can easily go through the relocation process, and the parents who leave the child will not feel empty at once.
Xin Xiji knows that these Saturdays are painful for her, so when she comes out of Tony’s house, she always visits friends.
Children need comfort.
They are very sensitive, and if they think their father or mother will be upset and lonely after they leave, it will be very difficult for them to leave.
Double divorced families are the same in all families.
In such a family, the seven-year-old son refuses to stay at his father’s house.
He always sat there quietly, holding his mother’s hand.
When investigators asked him questions directly, he always shrugged and said, “I don’t know.
“And turned to his brother, who will answer for him immediately.
The boy said, “She often cries at night.
Sometimes I heard it and hugged her.
Sometimes I cause her to laugh.
She said she didn’t know what to do without me.
“Children can only adapt to change when their parents deal with it. If children show real difficulties when they move, adults should check their behavior and check the subtle messages they may send.
It is important not to make the separation unbearable.
Turning separation into a normal part of family life will help children to have the same understanding.
Parents should understand how each child responds to change.If your child needs a few hours to adapt to the change, give them that time. If the daughter is angry when she comes, give her a chance to express her and help her understand her feelings based on her age.
If your son catches you when you leave, hug him and tell him what you want to do with him when he returns.